Blog #4 What to do when God says “No”
I don’t think that anyone likes to be told “no.” It feels good to be told yes, to have doors open for us, and to have our dreams and wishes granted. Sometimes, however, being denied something is for our best. It might not feel like it at the time but not getting what we want all the time helps us grow spiritually. Imagine a world where we got everything we want and prayed for, 100% of the time. Would that make life better or worse? Honestly, life wouldn’t turn out as nicely as you think it would. The thing is, God is our Heavenly Father and He loves us. He can see the beginning and the end of our lives. And He knows what is ultimately best for us. Sometimes, He allows things to not work out for our own good. It’s kind of like a parent who keeps their child indoors because they know that playing outside would mean danger. The child might not understand why they can’t go out and play, but the parent knows that they are doing so for their child’s highest good. It’s the same thing with God.
Have you ever been certain, absolutely certain, that you were going to marry someone, only to have that relationship fall apart before you made it down the aisle? Or maybe you were praying for a certain door to open in your career, or for a house you wanted, a car, on and on. In the moment, we might not understand why certain things do not happen, but if we pause, pray, and trust God that He has the answers, we can be certain that those closed doors will lead to the right ones opening for us.
Let me give you an example from my own life. I prayed for twenty years for a specific modeling job to happen. I prayed, I worked hard, I changed myself to fit the standards of that particular brand, all to be disappointed in the end. The opportunity presented itself where eventually, I had the opportunity to work for this brand. I felt so excited, like my dream was finally going to come to fruition. I just knew that God was giving me grace and favor, and that my life was going to change. After attending the casting, I didn’t hear a word. In fact, it seemed like the opposite of what I prayed for was happening. I was looked over for and rejected for that opportunity. I felt devastated. So, when the opportunity came around a second time, I submitted. The third and fourth years passed, and I never heard back from that client. I was so certain that I knew more about the plan for my life than God! Why wasn’t He hearing me? I’ll admit, I felt like I wanted to give in the towel and live in my discouragement. But I felt in my spirit God whispering something to me ever so quietly. He told me that closed doors are answered prayers, I just couldn’t see it. He told me I wasn’t supposed to know why; I was supposed to trust Him. So, I let it go and focused on other areas of my life. I gave thanks to God for everything He had done for me, because I felt that if He didn’t want me there it must have been for a good reason!
Take another example. I have been married before and during our marriage I thought we had the perfect relationship. On the outside, everything about this relationship seemed to be beautiful and meant to be. I was so happy once I married my husband and life was good for several years. However, there were warning signs in our marriage that things were not going as perfect as I had imagined to be. I began to feel in my spirit that this was not the person that God had for me, but I had married him out of my own interest instead of waiting on God’s timing. Sometimes we can get ahead of God and do things because we think they are the right thing to do instead of waiting on what God wants us to do. I believe that we will come out disappointed, always. Well, my marriage did not work out and in fact, the circumstances surrounding this were devastating. I gave it to Him, however, and trusted that He would work it out for good. His “no” in my marriage was not a no forever, just a loving and firm redirection into something better for my life. Patience and trust are powerful things.
Finally, I’d like to share another example. I do not have children, but I have always wanted two kids. Having a family to me is so precious, a gift from God that I cherish more than anything in life. I truly believe that children are a gift from God, but not all of us have this gift easily and freely. I lost a child during pregnancy when I was 25 years old. I was living in New York City, alone, and not living my life in alignment with God’s will. After losing the baby, I was never able to have a family and get pregnant again. I also have never been able to have a child by any other means. Now, why would God close that door, something I have wanted for so long? Well, I don’t know that answer but I trust Him. I have chosen to believe that God knows what’s best for me, and it He wanted me to have two kids and a husband, I would have them. God sees all. He wants our faith.
When facing challenges or disappointments, many believers turn to the Bible for guidance on how to respond when God says no. Although this may be hard to do all the time, scripture offers valuable insights into trusting God's plan and maintaining faith even in difficult moments.
Understanding God's Sovereignty
In Isaiah 55:8-9, The Bible talks about how God is sovereign and how He has a perfect plan for each of us. When we get a door closed in our lives, it is often part of His divine orchestration, which may not be immediately understandable. Romans 8:28 reassures believers that "God works all things together for good," even when His answers are different from our wants.
Embrace Trust and Patience
Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding. Trusting God's wisdom involves patience and submission to His will, even when we do not see the reason for His "no."
Seek God's Purpose in Disappointment
In Romans 8:29, the Bible teaches that God's responses are aimed at our growth and ultimate good. When denied something we desire, it may be an opportunity for spiritual development, character building, or redirecting us toward a better plan.
Maintain Faith and Worship
Habakkuk 3:17-19 displays an attitude of faith despite adverse circumstances, declaring joy and trust in God's salvation regardless of the situation. Worshiping God in times of disappointment affirms our belief that He is good and faithful.
Pray and Seek Wisdom
James 1:5 encourages us to ask God for wisdom when facing decisions or disappointments. Prayer is a vital part of aligning our hearts with God's purpose and receiving His peace.
Learn from Biblical Examples
Figures like Hannah, who was initially unable to conceive, exemplify prayer and perseverance when God said no. Her story, found in 1 Samuel 1, shows how faith and patience can lead to God's blessing in His perfect timing.
Conclusion
When God says no, it is an opportunity to deepen trust, grow in faith, and align ourselves with His divine purpose. While it may be painful, remembering God's sovereignty, seeking His guidance, and maintaining worship can help us navigate disappointment with hope and confidence in His good plan.